Vegetarian R Madhavan remembers living with a family that slaughtered cows when he was a Canadian exchange student and feeling uncomfortable being naked during communal showers in the boys’ locker room: ‘It was adharma for me’ |

Long before R Madhavan became an actor, he spent time in Canada as an exchange student, an experience that exposed him to a very different way of life than the one he had grown up in India. From living with families who “slaughtered cows for a living” despite being a strict vegetarian to navigating community showers with his basketball teammates, Madhavan has described the experience as one that played an important role in his formation.In a conversation shared by the Indian School of Business on YouTube in 2023, Madhavan recalled his time in Stettler, Canada, calling it “very important for my formative years.” He had traveled there as an exchange student through Rotary and found himself living in what he described as cowboy country.“I had the opportunity to be an exchange student on behalf of Rotary and I went to Canada as an exchange student. I went to a place called Stettler, which was the Wild West. It’s cowboy country. I lived with cowboys. I’m a die-hard vegetarian, but I live with families who slaughtered cows for a living, so that was all ‘adharma’ for me,” he said.But it was not just the difference in lifestyle that challenged Madhavan. He also recalled an incident from his time on the local school’s basketball team, which he described as the “biggest adharma” he encountered during his stay.Making the basketball team was a “huge achievement” for Madhavan, especially because he was an Indian student who wasn’t as tall as many of the other kids. However, their excitement soon gave way to anxiety when the team traveled to a neighboring town for a seven-day tournament.“Like it happens there, after the game, you go back to the boys’ locker room and go into the shower. My ordeal started when I had to go to the shower because unlike today, when you go to the men’s shower, there is just one pillar with six shower heads around it and all the boys go there like God made them and take a shower together. It’s the most normal thing for them to do,” Madhavan recalled.For someone raised in a conservative South Indian home, the situation was completely unfamiliar. Madhavan said the thought of getting into the shower was more stressful than playing the basketball game itself.“I didn’t know how I was going to bring myself to walk there, so I decided to say, ‘Screw this. I’m going to wear underwear and I’m not going to take them off,'” she shared.His decision immediately made him stand out. While the rest of his classmates showered without clothes, Madhavan entered in his underwear and soon realized that his attempt to preserve his privacy had made him even more conspicuous.“When I walked into the shower in my underwear and the rest of them were wearing nothing, I can’t express how naked I felt because no one was looking. Everyone was like, ‘What are you hiding?’ and I had to do it repetitively for seven days because the tournament was seven days,” he said.Madhavan admitted that he initially tried to convince himself that he should simply conform to what everyone else considered normal. However, on the third day he realized that it was best to stay true to his own comfort level.“I realized, ‘That’s not me. I’m never going to be comfortable, so I kept myself covered up for seven days.’ It was during that time that I realized that if your instincts tell you that if you are going to feel uncomfortable doing something… And if you have the guts to not follow what is considered a norm, then you will have the ability to be comfortable in your own skin and that was a very essential quality to get into the film industry,” he said.For Madhavan, what began as an awkward cultural adjustment ended up becoming a lesson in individuality. Years later, he recalled the incident not only as an embarrassing moment, but as an experience that taught him the importance of listening to his instincts and being comfortable staying out of the crowd.